Motherhood...not just a choice!

This is my first post in my Thoughtful Thursdays series.  I have had this topic on my mind A LOT for the last couple of months so I decided I'm writing a post about it.  Why not eh? 
So to start off with, I've mentioned on this blog time and time and time again how much I love my children!  They are everything to me!!  I know there is nothing here in our earthly mission that can prepare us for the love that we have and develop for the beautiful little ones that our Father in Heaven blesses and entrusts us with, and because of the religious beliefs that I have, I know that my children are mine to raise here on this earth and part of His divine plan.  What a huge responsibility! 
When we found out we were expecting our first child, we were beyond excited.  I had watched my own mother raise my siblings and watch family members raise their children and while I noticed it would be nothing short of easy, I thought, yes...I can do that!  However, after the first few weeks of having our precious little baby home, I realized that having the responsibility of another human life is literally life changing.
I am eternally grateful that my Heavenly Father entrusted me to be able to raise the 3 beautiful children that we have on this earth.  My husband and I frequently tell each other that we can not even begin to imagine life without them in our lives.  It's because of this immeasurable love that you have that instinct to protect and nurture them in all aspects of life.
Now, without going into much detail, I want to share a little experience with you.  Two years ago, I started having these urgent promptings that were hard for me to ignore.  I would go to work feeling guilty for leaving my children.  I would come home feeling like I didn't have enough time to try to do everything I wanted to with them, and I just kept feeling in my heart that I wanted and needed to be home with my children.  I tried pushing aside the feelings I was having and just told myself that I was just making myself feel guilty and that providing this extra income was the best way to be taking care of them.  We had a wonderful woman providing care for them and I just knew she was doing all that she could to be that mother to them while I was not.
The promptings kept coming and other things started surfacing that were adding to my guilt.  I started to realize that maybe this wasn't just a guilty conscience, but the Holy Spirit trying to tell me something.  But what?!!  I'm not a patient person so for me to accept that I wasn't just coming up with all of this in my own little mind was kind of a difficult thing to accept. 
What I know now as spiritual promptings occurred for about 5 months, and then one day when I was leaving work, I got a phone call that I will never forget.  I rushed to my daycare providers home and sat there listening to her pleading and tears and she explained to me what she had discovered that day.  Something so awful that had been happening to my own child for the last 5 MONTHS!!  I still to this day can not grasp the fact that I had been so oblivious to the promptings I had received.  I knew they were there for me, I just had not opened up my heart to realize what I was being told and warned of.
To say the least, my children were immediately removed from that home and my husband and I spent countless sleepless nights weighing out our options and wondering what we should do.  I knew what I wanted.  I wanted to stay home with our children!  My husband on the other hand was more concerned with the financial part of things and felt really unsure that it was even possible.  We were blessed enough to have my amazing sister-in-law be so willing to watch our children while we sorted things out and decided what to do.  She was an incredible provider for our children while I was working, but I still had that urgency that my role is to be home, raising our children and not leaving that to someone else.  After ignoring the promptings that I had before, I am not about to do so again, so I continued to search for ways of what  I can do to allow me to raise our children. 
It's taken us a little while, but after many prayers, fasting and taking about what is truly the right thing for our family, I was able to find something to allow me to stay home, raise our children and still have an income. I feel so incredibly blessed that I have been given the talents that I have and to have the opportunity to share them with others, all while still being able to contribute to our family.
I want to stress to you all the importance of listening, not just with your ears, but with your HEART.  Whether you have the same religious beliefs that I do, or not, you have had those times when you just have the "gut feeling" of something.  That something is what I believe to be the Holy Spirit, a messenger between us and our Father in Heaven.  Listen to that feeling and know that it is there to tell you something!!  You don't want to ignore it and regret doing so later.
I truly feel that it was this awful experience that I had to go through to build my testimony of prayer, listening to the spirit, and motherhood.  I know in my heart that having the opportunity of motherhood is not just a choice, but a calling!!  We all must use our gifts and testimonies in raising these precious little ones.  They are sent to us with such open minds and loving hearts.  We have the responsibility to nurture and love them and teach them what is right.  How can we do this without first knowing what is right? 
I sit here writing this post with my 3 year old daughter dressing me up in her "princess dress-up attire" and having my 6 month-old baby laughing at how silly his mommy looks wearing a sparkly crown and huge costume jewelry.  I savor these moments.  I know that there is a reason I have my children to raise, not just to have the opportunity to raise and teach them of His plan, but for them to teach me as well.